✨ Your Integration Bestie ✨

In the early stages of our relationship, when my boyfriend and I were still finding our groove, he once said, “As long as the fundamentals are still there—the main things I love about you—everything else is fine.”

“When there’s something on your mind about our relationship, just come to me and we’ll talk about it. All those things you fear might jeopardise our relationship won’t, because the fundamentals are intact—like you being generally cheerful, funny, and ambitious,” he went on to add.

(Seriously, does he have a secret PhD in Relationship Dynamics or something? I was secretly impressed.)

This gem of wisdom got me thinking about my own “fundamentals” and how they apply not just to relationships but to life in general, especially as an expat in a foreign country. It led me to ponder, “How do I know if I’m in the right place?”

Just as my boyfriend cherishes certain core aspects of my personality, I realised that I have my own set of non-negotiables that shape the foundation of where I choose to live. These criteria ensure that my environment aligns with my needs and enhances my well-being.

During my exploration of different European countries last year, I identified three key criteria that are essential for me:

Proficiency in English: Learning the local language is important, but it takes time! In the meantime, living where English is widely spoken helps me set up my life and access essentials without too much hassle. It’s all about balancing integration with practical living, hehe.

Responsible Driving: I need a place where drivers follow traffic rules and the roads are safe That sense of order and safety makes me feel secure, whether I’m driving or just crossing the street.

Access to Asian Food: This girl loves her Asian food , hahaha, so having access to authentic dishes is a must. It’s not just about the delicious food, but also connecting with my cultural roots.

Now, I’m not looking for a country identical to Australia. I love the European vibes, but these three essentials have definitely made the Netherlands feel more like home. Sure, there are things I DON’T love, but the fundamentals are there.

In essence, finding the right place is about knowing your non-negotiables—the things that make you feel secure and content. Once these fundamentals are in place, you can build a happy life, even far from home.

So what do you need to feel you’re in the right place? What are your non-negotiables when choosing a place to live? Share your thoughts below!