✨ Your Integration Bestie ✨

Life as an expat or immigrant is never easy. Even the smallest things can weigh you down when you don’t have your go-to place for everything yet—whether it’s a GP, a favourite cafe, or even just finding a dress (YES THAT’S RIGHT).
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But the most challenging part of all is rebuilding your social network. Finding people who understand your journey, who share it with you, who are in your corner, pump you up, and listen when you’re down.

It’s not easy.
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Connections like this take time to build. It’s even harder as an adult when everyone has so many other life priorities. Just like in Australia, in the Netherlands most Dutch people already have tight-knit friend groups, making it difficult to forge deep friendships.

While my Dutch boyfriend has introduced me to his friends and family, who have always made me feel welcome, I still long to have my own friends, my own circle built on my own.
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The first few months were particularly tough. I was bogged down with house hunting (which is a nightmare here!), settling into my new job, and just adjusting to the unfamiliarity of everything.
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Building and deepening connections took a back seat, and I could feel the impact. I did try to attend events and meetups whenever I could, but the few I went to were mostly ‘sausage fests’ (mainly men)—not what I was looking for 😬. I wanted to make like-minded gal pals.
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Then one day, it hit me: why not deepen the connections I already have?
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Even if it’s just one person, it still counts. If there’s someone I feel could become a good friend, I’m going to nurture that relationship. If there are three potential friends, I’ll focus on them. It’s like a good business rule of thumb I learned: if you only have eight subscribers, nurture those connections, and more will come.
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So I started doing just that. One hello at a time. One small talk at a time. One conversation at a time. One catch-up at a time. One vulnerable sharing at a time.
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It’s been 4-5 months since I started doing that intentionally.
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Work-wise, I’ve been proactively connecting with people—slowly but surely, I’m finding more people I vibe with, feel comfortable with, share a sense of camaraderie with, and can count on. The next thing I want is a work BFF (anyone here also likes to have a work BFF?). Let’s see how it goes!
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In my personal life, so far I’ve met some lovely people, and there are a few girls who have been absolute godsends. I’m always excited to see them, share my week (good or bad), and do fun stuff together – we just get each other, and it’s amazing!
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If you’re also trying your best to make friends in a foreign country, I’m with you! The path to forming a tribe is not linear; it’s full of trial and error (and anxiety and lonliness even), and we’re not going to be friends with everyone. With some people, we simply won’t have that spark, and that’s okay : )
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Start by thinking about the kind of people you want around you. Begin there, and stay curious about what happens next ✨