✨ Your Integration Bestie ✨

When I first arrived in the Netherlands, I was eager to make friends. Back in Sydney, I used to host Meetups myself and loved seeing how much joy and connection these events brought to people. Naturally, I thought attending Meetups here would be a great way to build my own social circle.

So, off I went to my first two Meetups, and while they were pleasant enough, they both turned out to be what can only be described as ‘sausage fests.’ Now, don’t get me wrong—nothing against making male friends or finding love interests during these events, but I already have a wonderful boyfriend. What I was really looking for were female friendships, sisterhood.

Then, life happened. The first half of 2024 was a whirlwind—adjusting to a new country, a new job, new systems, and just the general mental load of getting settled. At that point, my priority wasn’t making friends; it was simply staying afloat and getting the basics sorted.

Fast forward six months, and I finally felt like I could come up for air. But this time, I wanted to take a different approach. Instead of focusing on just meeting people, I decided to focus on doing things I genuinely enjoyed. So even if I didn’t walk away with new friends, at least I’d have fun.

So, I threw myself into activities that sparked my interest. Over the past four months, I’ve attended all kinds of workshops—bracelet making, pottery, coffee painting, and even a pumpkin spice latte workshop hehe. And the nature of these activities naturally attracted more women, and before I knew it, I started making female friends in an organic way.

Looking back, I think there’s a valuable lesson here for expats and migrants navigating the often-tricky world of making friends in a new country. Instead of forcing connections or attending social events just for the sake of networking, lean into your interests and curiosity.

Yes, friendships as an adult can feel like a slow burn, especially when you’re in a new country. But by shifting the focus from meeting people to enjoying experiences, you create space for authentic connections to form.

So, if you’re struggling to find your people, my advice? Do what makes you happy first—the friendships will follow. And if nothing else, at least you’ll walk away with some cool new skills (and maybe a killer homemade bracelet)!