✨ Your Integration Bestie ✨

Dear One,

When you first moved abroad, did you have to sacrifice a big part of what made you you?

Maybe you were the outgoing one – organising get-togethers, speaking up in meetings. Or the confident professional, grounded in your work, your language, your rhythm. Then suddenly, you were somewhere new. New rules. New systems. New version of you.

No one really talks about the quiet identity shift that happens when you move abroad. It’s not just about learning a new language or finding where to buy essentials like eye drops (and let’s be honest – that’s a whole thing). It’s about losing and slowly rebuilding parts of yourself you didn’t even realise were so essential.

I’m in that process too.

After a year and a half, I just returned to private coaching – and wow, what a feeling! I had paused it after moving to the Netherlands, when starting a full-time job teaching at an international school consumed most of my energy (and brain cells). I needed time to settle, adjust, and figure out the basics.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it.
Coaching, I mean – not eye-drop shopping 😬

There’s something about helping someone reach their “a-ha” moment. Watching someone connect the dots, shift their mindset, and rebuild from the inside out – it reminded me how slow, personal, and powerful this work is.

There’s no applause. No spotlight.
Just quiet, courageous work.

And YOU are doing it.

It reminded me: coaching doesn’t just help others rebuild. It helped me remember a part of myself I had tucked away in the noise of transition. And maybe that’s something we all need – especially when we’re living between languages, cultures, and versions of ourselves.

Because moving abroad isn’t just paperwork, apartment hunting, or ordering coffee in another language. It’s about rebuilding your identity.

Not from scratch, but from shift.

You arrive buzzing with hope and nerves… and also stripped of the anchors that once made you feel like you. Your confidence. Your humor. Your fluency. You go from being capable to “the one figuring things out.”
From being known to “the one with the accent.”

People don’t always see the full you. And slowly, if you’re not careful, you stop seeing the full you too.

You start wondering if something needs to be fixed.

But here’s what I believe:
You don’t need to be fixed.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.

Too often, the immigrant/expat narrative focuses on what’s missing:
• Improve your language.
• Understand the culture.
• Get the right job.
• Blend in better.

Sure, those things matter – but they’re not the whole story.

What if we also asked:
• What do I already bring to this place?
• What do I want to keep, not just change?
• What does belonging mean to me?

Integration isn’t about erasing where we’ve been. It’s about layering it into who we’re becoming.

That’s what coaching reminded me of—it wasn’t just a return to work I love. It was a return to myself. A part of me I hadn’t lost, just paused. And maybe that’s something you’re craving too.

We all need spaces that reflect us back to ourselves.
Rituals that ground us.
People who remind us we’re not starting from scratch.

So if you’re in that space – in the in-between—feeling a little lost, a little unrecognisable to yourself, here’s what I’ll gently say:

It’s okay to take your time.
Heck, it’s okay if it takes time.

It’s okay to get swept up in the busyness of relocation.
It’s okay to press pause on the things you used to love.
It’s okay if you don’t feel quite like yourself yet.

Because this part—the quiet in-between—is where the rebuilding begins.

Here’s to the slow return.
The kind spaces.
The small rituals that bring us back to ourselves—
Even when “home” is still something we’re learning to define. 💛

And if no one’s asked you lately – what part of you do you want to bring forward again?

Feel free to share your story in the comments—I’d truly love to hear it 💛