✨ Your Integration Bestie ✨

I had a coaching call this week where a client shared with me, “I know I should speak up more in meetings. But I just… don’t.”

That was such an honest thing to admit, so I gave her an honest answer back. 

“That expectation was never going to work for you,” I said. Not because something’s wrong with you. It’s simply the wrong diagnosis.

The real issue here is not confidence. It’s timing.

Here’s what I mean: in a lot of Western meetings, the conversation moves like a fast-moving river. Whoever jumps in first, mid-thought, mid-sentence even, gets heard. Whoever waits for a natural pause, for the “right” moment, often finds that moment never comes.

If you grew up in a culture where interrupting is disrespectful, where you wait until someone finishes speaking, where you think before you talk – you’re not doing meetings wrong. You’re playing a different game with a different rulebook, in a room that’s only using one of the rulebooks.

Now obviously, the rulebook isn’t one-size-fits-all – it shifts depending on your personality, your experience, and the context you’re in. But here are three quick rules of thumb that tend to hold up across most rooms:

1. 𝐏𝐫𝐞-𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬.
Before you walk into the meeting, decide on one thing you want to contribute. Just one.

Having it clear beforehand means you’re not trying to think, translate, and navigate cultural norms all at the same time – now you just need to deliver it. 

I don’t know about you, but for me, once I’ve shared that first point, the pressure comes off. You’re no longer thinking, “I still haven’t said anything.” Your confidence grows, you feel more relaxed in the meeting, you listen to others better, think more clearly, and you’re more likely to contribute again – speaking a second or third time becomes so much easier.

2. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐝.
Don’t wait for the perfect gap, or for your thought to be fully polished. If you have something to say, say it in the first few minutes – even if it’s short, even if it’s not your full point yet. You can always add more later. But if you wait too long, the conversation moves on, and the moment to say it at all just disappears.

3. 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞.
A lot of us default to permission phrases without realising it – “Sorry, can I just add something?” or “This might be a silly question, but…” These phrases don’t just ask for the floor before you’ve said anything – they quietly signal to the room that you’re not so sure your point is worth hearing, before anyone’s even heard it.

A bridge phrase does the opposite – it moves you straight into the conversation instead of asking to enter it. Try “Building on that…” or “Coming at this from a different angle…” You’re not interrupting, you’re contributing. And the room treats it that way too.

None of this is about becoming someone louder or more “Western.” It’s about learning the mechanics of the room so your good thinking actually lands where it can be heard. Instead of staying perfectly formed in your head, five seconds too late.

Sometimes the gap isn’t confidence. It’s timing. And timing can be learned.

Anita x

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P.S. If you’d like support expressing your ideas and opinions more confidently in work meetings, let’s chat 💛

My free 1:1 consultation spots are now open! Click HERE or the picture below to secure your spot. Let’s chat about what’s getting in the way and how we can change that 🙂